in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
