I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
