she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
