Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
