people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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