stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize