I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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