I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
