A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
