Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
