I just made out with a guy for $7.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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