My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
