I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
