Duck Duck Cougar?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
