i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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