Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
