it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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