One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
