Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
