Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
