Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
of course. lets lasso hookers.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
