I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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