ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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