That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
