Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
