I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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