she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I enjoy the company of your penis
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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