is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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