Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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