Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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