i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
