No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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