need another drink. this is the easiest way
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
