'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
