3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
