Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
