At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
