he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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