Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You are a booty call, not a friend.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
