I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
