I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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