You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
