Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
