Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize