come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
