I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
