you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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