You work out of a Hotel?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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