We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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