i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
