I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
