Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
