He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
