I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
