honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
MIDGETS
????
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
