fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
There's even glitter on my cock...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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