hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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