JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Pants are for mortals
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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