dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
