You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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