My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
