Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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