Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
