listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
