those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
